The Unemployed Lady From Nantucket

The Unemployed Lady From Nantucket

There once was a Lady from Nanucket
She needed a job because she lived in a bucket

She was behind in her bills
She had a car but no wheels

The only food she had were noodles
Her clothes also smelled like oodles

Her husband left her alone
Mumbling something about needing a home

She couldn’t do her hair because she didn’t have a comb
Her credit sucked so she couldn’t get a loan

She didn’t have rhythm so she couldn’t be a dancer
So what would she do with the stage name of “Prancer”?

At 5’3″ she’s too short to model
And she wasn’t going to toddle

Oh what would she do?
Her hair was turning blue

Now who would hire a woman whose hair was blue?
I wouldn’t, would you?

Just great, now she’d have to buy a wig
Oh well, at least her nose wasn’t too big

Maybe she can get a job driving a truck
Nah, she probabbly shouldn’t push her luck

It doesn’t matter anymore because she’s in a better place
With beings more advanced than the human race

Where you don’t even need a job
And you can live like a slob

On the planet Bafoon
You don’t have to carry a tune

Or be able to dance
Or have to wear pants

You just have to be nice to all
And be ready to catch the king’s fall

And be willing to fight those
Who insist on pantyhose

Because that’s the only thing
that stops the phone’s ring

Well she moved to Bafoon and got a life
No longer is she defined as someones’ wife.