Posts from — November 2004

June was owed money by Karl’s mum, Mary in Mexico. You see June had done some work for Mary and Mary refused to pay. June kept trying to get Mary to pay her the money. June did not know that Mary was the head of the Mexican mafia. June got herself banished from the country for no reason at all and fell violently ill which made her cry, she stole a car and with her last ounce of strength she escaped narrowly and hitch-hiked all the way home.

Mark got a letter bomb from a baby boy. He got the letter bomb after leaping from a crashing plane. Fortunately for him, the bomb malfuntioned and did not go off. However, he snapped and lost his mind because he received a letter bomb and went around killing rats with a jackhammer for no reason at all. Everyone felt very sympathetic and scared so everyone bowed down to Mark. He went around killing rats with plastic bombs and with his last ounce of strength he killed the head rat and made it away with minimal injuries. The whole town cheered and declared March national Mark month and everyone went around killing rats.

Jack discovered a baby boy after leaping from a crashing plane. He almost got killed by an army of birds because his leg hurt and they mistook him for dinner. He chased a bunny which caused public outcry because the bunny was the last of the species. He felt a sudden ray of hope and to the surprise of the audience he got caught by the police and was sentenced to 36 years in prison. Well thought Jack, at least I do not have to worry about getting chased by birds.

Anna went swimming with an axe murderer. She really did not have much choice. The plane that they were on had a faulty engine. It caused them to have to leap from the plane. After leaping from a crashing plane during a hail storm because she felt like it, she fell violently ill which got her in a lot of trouble, because she had to miss a whole month off from work. On a dareshe stole a car and with her last ounce of strength she defeated her enemy and the world was safe again… but for how long? Only time would tell.

Jane saw a movie made by the T800 in China during the third world war but it was all an accident. You see Jane really was not supposed to see the movie and the governemment came to her house and ordered her to hand over the tape. Jane refused to hand over the tape so she ran. Jane ran and ran and ran, and all of a sudden she banged her head on a wall. Somehow Jane’s banging her head on the wall caused an avalanche. She shot all the governemt guys and by some miracuolus twist she escaped narrowly and hitch-hiked all the way home. Little did Jane know, she was being followed.

Jake got a letter bomb from Karl’s mum in an icy cave during the third world war. Since he was feeling very foolish, he went for a long walk through the park. Then he ran around like a lunatic. Jake felt a sudden ray of hope and to the disappointment of his family, he got caught by the police and was sentenced to 37 years in prison. However, he got off on a technicality. In their haste to arrest Jake, the police forgot to read him his Miranda rights. Jake and his family celebrated by going to the ESPN zone to watch some basketball

Felix was dismayed to find out that his biggest dream might not ever come to pass. You see, ever since Felix was a little boy he had dreamt of climbing Mount Everest. Felix only had about six months left to live because of a terminal disease. He could have gone to climb Mount Everest next week since his disease had not progressed to its more serious stages yet. But now, thanks to terrorist activity, he was not allowed to leave the state. Felix just did not think that was fair. Just because some other clowns in his fraternity were being idiots did not mean that the whole fraternity was like that. But since his frat members were commiting terroristic acts the whole fraternity was prohibited from leaving the state for six months. Oh perfect thought Felix. I only have six months to live and they impose a stupid ban on my fraternity in my last six months of life. What can I do about this? Felix thought about it for a minute. Hmm. I can call up the fraternity president and see if can contact someone and maybe they can make an exception for me. Let me see where did I put that phone number? Oh here it is. Felix pulled out his telephone and started dialing the phone number to their headquarters. six oh six four eight two seven seven eight six. Ring. Ring. Hello?
Hi, this is Felix Ingelsberry. I am member of the Cincinatti chapter.
How are you?
I am okay. Well I would be okay if it were not for this order not to leave the sate. You see, I was not involved in those actions. I do not know who the pereptrators were, otherwise I would turn them in. Is there anyway that you can make an exception to the rule.
No absolutely not no exceptions.
Well you have to hear me out. I just found out that I have a terminal illness. I have been given six months left to live. All my life, I have had one dream and that has been to climb Mount Everest. I have to do it soon before my health deteriorates. I have a team all prepared to help me climb this mountain. I just need your blessing to go and climb this mountain. Will you please reconsider?
Well, I guess I can make an exception in this case. Okay, go on ahead and climb the mountain. You must not let any of your frat brothers find out about this or everyone is going to be calling here for exceptions.
Of course, Of course I understand.

Felix hung up the phone and immediately began to call his team together. Fifteen minutes later his team of experts was at his house. Thirty minutes later they were on their chartered airplane on the way to Mount Everest. Six monhts later Felix died a peaceful death with the knowledge that he had completed his childhood dream.

Dasha could not understand what was wrong with Makalo. When they first started dating he was the most thoughtful man in the world. Now all of a sudden he acted as though she was the most boring thing since white bread. First of all he had stopped returning her phone calls. He used to call her at least once a day and they used to send each other text messages all the time. Now when she calls him she always has to talk to the voice mail and he does not return her phone calls until like two or three days later. What’s worse is that their Friday night out has been turned into a boys’ night out. Dasha understood that he had to have some time with the guys, but he is with his friends more often than he is with her. Also he kept wearing this rainbow necklace when they went out and all of these gay men kept coming up to him. Dasha could not understand why he did not just politely tell these men that he was straight and that they needed to keep on stepping. These things just did not add up to Dasha. She was starting to suspect that maybe he was hiding something from her.

This article gives me the idea for some scenes in Confessions of a Christian Playa.

http://www.writing-world.com/fiction/giles.shtml

More story ideas.